So they say that by monday I will have the magma offer...
So thus begins the journey to be filthy rich..well not really...It will be 1 and a 1/2 years since i started working, and this offer should make me happy...money wise...
Kinda nervous about what it might entail.. i would like to have a calling towards work... they cant be paying me so much to just sit around....
Monday will come and the initial enthusiasm of they giant paycheck will wear off... and i will wait impatiently for the next big bump up.... till then... hmmm ... the clock will tick
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Bday bash!
My first complete "honest to god" blackout!!!!!!
Oct 8th - Party at my place ...
Among other things of interest, My face got pasted with 3 rounds of cake and one round of dip..
After having chaged my shirt three times, we started our tequila shots...courtsey Rama.. i was pretty enthusistic about my first shots ...and 5 shots later .... I picked my guitar...enthusiastic about my songs, I started grabbing bottles and glasses from everyone and drank everything, three songs later, I couldn't distinguish the two necks of my guitar and had trouble directing my four hands to them. Twenty minutes later, I passed out. 'Puke everywhere' is the title of the story... which I only got to hear in the morning!!! For the last twenty minutes I have no recollection of what happenend!! I woke up in my underwear, coz i had been drenched by litres of water, which had no effect other than getting my pants wet, which were promptly removed!!!!
Well that was A BLAST!!!!
Oct 8th - Party at my place ...
Among other things of interest, My face got pasted with 3 rounds of cake and one round of dip..
After having chaged my shirt three times, we started our tequila shots...courtsey Rama.. i was pretty enthusistic about my first shots ...and 5 shots later .... I picked my guitar...enthusiastic about my songs, I started grabbing bottles and glasses from everyone and drank everything, three songs later, I couldn't distinguish the two necks of my guitar and had trouble directing my four hands to them. Twenty minutes later, I passed out. 'Puke everywhere' is the title of the story... which I only got to hear in the morning!!! For the last twenty minutes I have no recollection of what happenend!! I woke up in my underwear, coz i had been drenched by litres of water, which had no effect other than getting my pants wet, which were promptly removed!!!!
Well that was A BLAST!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Of a thing called boredom
chronic, never-ending boredom...thats what life is in bangalore...There are things which generate excitement in retrospect. Things you did in the past which you felt nice about, but bangalore has offered me very little of that. The contrast to my life in college is huge. I wasn't eactly a party animal in college, but i had a wide variety of things to keep me happy...And i had people...every once in a while there would be something to do... HEADS UP!!! thats the only thing I can tell myself...I wnat to break this pattern of monotony. And whats somewhat consoling is that I am not the only one. People who have come from delhi and are somewhat driven for their careers find themselves in a odd spot, coming from delhi gives you that craving for a social life and the drive for the career means you are probably involved with something that gives you no time to indulge in a social life. the situation falling out of these contradictions is compunded by a mad "bigger paycheck" rush. Sanity is very subjective.
Friday, August 05, 2005
To trust the "KNEE"
this weekend's trip to kodaikanal was awesome fun!
misty mountain tops ! a walk in the clouds !
and some semi-serious biking and trekking!
i hope there are more of these in the pipeline!
A big refreshing change!!
Climbing up a hill on a bicycle is a killer!!
But at the same time it outs my trust back on my knee...
I wasnt in bad shape...but i guess i can only get better...
misty mountain tops ! a walk in the clouds !
and some semi-serious biking and trekking!
i hope there are more of these in the pipeline!
A big refreshing change!!
Climbing up a hill on a bicycle is a killer!!
But at the same time it outs my trust back on my knee...
I wasnt in bad shape...but i guess i can only get better...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Desperation or drive!
There are times when people do things just to claw back to the surface and save themselves from drowning! Even though this requires tremendous effort and will, this does not constitute drive. Drive, is the most supreme of human qualities, that combined with your luck, makes the difference between lance armstrong and the bum you step over on your way to work. Wait a second, come to think of it, Armstrong wasnt very lucky, unless getting cancer makes your day...
Drive is the quality that differentiates your reaction to life-breaking events. Here are few that I have observed:
Some people just look away and ignore the situation and never let it bother them as it slowly kills them within.
Some people immediately make up their mind that their lives are over, and there is nothing to live for.
Some people overcome, with great strength and effort. And these are the people who survive almost anything (other than their eventual demise)
So what is it that differentiates these people?
Are they born with it? If so, this discussion is over? Because then you can assume that everything is pre-ordained and your effort makes no difference...I disagree...there is that example about choice...
A gets run over by a car and loses his legs....A has a choice to fight for what remains...or just give up...
As the first choice plays out...there is a hope, actually a distinct possibility, that A will ressurect his spirit. He will never have his legs, but he will have something...
As the second choice plays out...there is sadness...there is fear...there is loss of faith...a constant reminder of the handicap...there's frustration...and theres lonliness...a life wasted...
in retrospect this is an easy choice...but if the context is more present...its a test of your mettle...
we all have a choice to fight for what we want, we may come close and lose it, and then we have a choice to give up for what we fight for, and choose something new. But in doing this there's a danger of diluting your focus...
where does drive come from?
it comes from a will to excel, from a passion to exceed limits, to tell yourself that you have added value, its the same thing that drives a successful businessman and a freestyle rock-climber.. it is the epitome of indulging yourself for your own sake...
why would it be absent?
trauma...painful experiences..repeated failure...mental illness...all the above could combine to a situation wherein the person lacks drive...it could be due to lack of inspiration...or lacking self-belief...lacking any acheivable short term goals...but most of all I think its the lack of will and positivity.
will and positivity ?
These will prove to be the two most important concepts of anyone's life. There are those who can do without it. However, if you aspire for the extraordinary, dont leave home without it. In fact, make a choice early in life. Do you want to sacrifice ambition and afford yourself a 'loose at the edges' will ? Or do you want to sacrifice leisure and comfort, and beat yourself into pulp driving yourself? When you are beaten to a pulp, you look at yourself in the mirror...and this is where positivity comes in... Perception is wielded by you...you are a product of your perception...and nothing more...
THe road to success:
1. Discipline your life, to give your will a chance to grow.
nothing like following a routine and resolutions to believe that your will actually has a say. And dont trivialize the "no matter what" phrase, I am sure many use it to egg themselves on, and before the blink of an eye, the pastry that was "will not eat, no matter what!" turn into "well I do plan to run this weekend!"
2. Train your perception . And here again discipline is everything. Look at everything with a positive view..Here are a few things which are affected by perception.
a. People
b. Situations
c. Prospects
Never make judgements about people, for this immediately limits your perception of them. Never be emotional about situations, as this clouds your response. Respond to solve and not to absorb the manifold implications. Prospects, always take a deep look at the brightest and a quick look at the gravest. Make a decision and never look back at the grave prospects...
drive cannot be switched off...switch it on only if you need it bad..or just simply cannot do without it...
Drive is the quality that differentiates your reaction to life-breaking events. Here are few that I have observed:
Some people just look away and ignore the situation and never let it bother them as it slowly kills them within.
Some people immediately make up their mind that their lives are over, and there is nothing to live for.
Some people overcome, with great strength and effort. And these are the people who survive almost anything (other than their eventual demise)
So what is it that differentiates these people?
Are they born with it? If so, this discussion is over? Because then you can assume that everything is pre-ordained and your effort makes no difference...I disagree...there is that example about choice...
A gets run over by a car and loses his legs....A has a choice to fight for what remains...or just give up...
As the first choice plays out...there is a hope, actually a distinct possibility, that A will ressurect his spirit. He will never have his legs, but he will have something...
As the second choice plays out...there is sadness...there is fear...there is loss of faith...a constant reminder of the handicap...there's frustration...and theres lonliness...a life wasted...
in retrospect this is an easy choice...but if the context is more present...its a test of your mettle...
we all have a choice to fight for what we want, we may come close and lose it, and then we have a choice to give up for what we fight for, and choose something new. But in doing this there's a danger of diluting your focus...
where does drive come from?
it comes from a will to excel, from a passion to exceed limits, to tell yourself that you have added value, its the same thing that drives a successful businessman and a freestyle rock-climber.. it is the epitome of indulging yourself for your own sake...
why would it be absent?
trauma...painful experiences..repeated failure...mental illness...all the above could combine to a situation wherein the person lacks drive...it could be due to lack of inspiration...or lacking self-belief...lacking any acheivable short term goals...but most of all I think its the lack of will and positivity.
will and positivity ?
These will prove to be the two most important concepts of anyone's life. There are those who can do without it. However, if you aspire for the extraordinary, dont leave home without it. In fact, make a choice early in life. Do you want to sacrifice ambition and afford yourself a 'loose at the edges' will ? Or do you want to sacrifice leisure and comfort, and beat yourself into pulp driving yourself? When you are beaten to a pulp, you look at yourself in the mirror...and this is where positivity comes in... Perception is wielded by you...you are a product of your perception...and nothing more...
THe road to success:
1. Discipline your life, to give your will a chance to grow.
nothing like following a routine and resolutions to believe that your will actually has a say. And dont trivialize the "no matter what" phrase, I am sure many use it to egg themselves on, and before the blink of an eye, the pastry that was "will not eat, no matter what!" turn into "well I do plan to run this weekend!"
2. Train your perception . And here again discipline is everything. Look at everything with a positive view..Here are a few things which are affected by perception.
a. People
b. Situations
c. Prospects
Never make judgements about people, for this immediately limits your perception of them. Never be emotional about situations, as this clouds your response. Respond to solve and not to absorb the manifold implications. Prospects, always take a deep look at the brightest and a quick look at the gravest. Make a decision and never look back at the grave prospects...
drive cannot be switched off...switch it on only if you need it bad..or just simply cannot do without it...
Friday, July 15, 2005
VROOOM!!!!
Do you hear that???
That low hum , slowly spiralling into a high pitched whine,
do you feel the earth shake and send warm vibration through you...
that powerful sensation of having a 300 HP beast rearing to go ...
well thats my drive coming back online after a year long hiatus...
a man is defined by his will to achieve...and without focus and motivation, there is no such will.
I have missed sorely, my age old companion. My drive, my soulful inspiration, the desire to be something more than 'all around you'..
I lost it in great turmoil, and great turmoil has restored it ...
That low hum , slowly spiralling into a high pitched whine,
do you feel the earth shake and send warm vibration through you...
that powerful sensation of having a 300 HP beast rearing to go ...
well thats my drive coming back online after a year long hiatus...
a man is defined by his will to achieve...and without focus and motivation, there is no such will.
I have missed sorely, my age old companion. My drive, my soulful inspiration, the desire to be something more than 'all around you'..
I lost it in great turmoil, and great turmoil has restored it ...
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Love, Erudition and Money
i have for a long time believed that the things of greatest importance to me are
love, erudition and money. And till recently the order was as listed. Nothing like heartbreak to reorder your priorities, so here is an insight to how the heart of those in love works as opposed to those fallen out of love.
Initially when i planned to write this, i wanted to write a very impersonal journal of what i felt were my priorities. So i will try no to deter from my initial objective.
Love : By this I mean two kinds of love, the intimate shared with only a few. And the much wider love that comes bundled with achievement, the love of a friend, of an admirer, of a junior who thinks you are the best thing since elvis presley, or a fan at a concert who tells you that you have a n awesome voice, or the love of a fellow intellectual whose strife for a conversation partner is temporarily subdued by your presence, by a young woman who thinks you rock when you move on the dance floor, by the geek who thinks you look great on that bike, or the even the envy of those single men out there as they check out the 'very hot' women by your side. I strive for both these loves. I want to be recognized for who i am, I am desperate to prove my individuality from the throngs of billions of humans...I am different...know me for it...I want to assert...
The love of a woman...the most intimate that a man can find...eludes me...
and presently wouldnt want to express much on that...
Erudition: Knowledge is the fruit of human existense, in its study I find that I am part of something timeless and immortal. In a constant quest to define who I am, I feel it nessecary to read history and stories of human trials and endurance. What are the quintessential human qualities?? is it greed and hunger or is it love and communal harmony? is it desire which turns us poets or carnal lust which makes criminals of us?? If it is both, which one am I?
Money: Hmmmm.... its the certified universal symbol of your "survivabilty quotient' ...Money sure cant buy happiness...but it buys everything material and many things abstract from here to the ends of the universe.... for me it just symbolizes an opportunity which if i miss out now, i will regret later...I am not overpowered by any desire to own a ferrari, however prudence is best excercised now ...than be burdened with the onus of a wasted youth...
love, erudition and money. And till recently the order was as listed. Nothing like heartbreak to reorder your priorities, so here is an insight to how the heart of those in love works as opposed to those fallen out of love.
Initially when i planned to write this, i wanted to write a very impersonal journal of what i felt were my priorities. So i will try no to deter from my initial objective.
Love : By this I mean two kinds of love, the intimate shared with only a few. And the much wider love that comes bundled with achievement, the love of a friend, of an admirer, of a junior who thinks you are the best thing since elvis presley, or a fan at a concert who tells you that you have a n awesome voice, or the love of a fellow intellectual whose strife for a conversation partner is temporarily subdued by your presence, by a young woman who thinks you rock when you move on the dance floor, by the geek who thinks you look great on that bike, or the even the envy of those single men out there as they check out the 'very hot' women by your side. I strive for both these loves. I want to be recognized for who i am, I am desperate to prove my individuality from the throngs of billions of humans...I am different...know me for it...I want to assert...
The love of a woman...the most intimate that a man can find...eludes me...
and presently wouldnt want to express much on that...
Erudition: Knowledge is the fruit of human existense, in its study I find that I am part of something timeless and immortal. In a constant quest to define who I am, I feel it nessecary to read history and stories of human trials and endurance. What are the quintessential human qualities?? is it greed and hunger or is it love and communal harmony? is it desire which turns us poets or carnal lust which makes criminals of us?? If it is both, which one am I?
Money: Hmmmm.... its the certified universal symbol of your "survivabilty quotient' ...Money sure cant buy happiness...but it buys everything material and many things abstract from here to the ends of the universe.... for me it just symbolizes an opportunity which if i miss out now, i will regret later...I am not overpowered by any desire to own a ferrari, however prudence is best excercised now ...than be burdened with the onus of a wasted youth...
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