i have for a long time believed that the things of greatest importance to me are
love, erudition and money. And till recently the order was as listed. Nothing like heartbreak to reorder your priorities, so here is an insight to how the heart of those in love works as opposed to those fallen out of love.
Initially when i planned to write this, i wanted to write a very impersonal journal of what i felt were my priorities. So i will try no to deter from my initial objective.
Love : By this I mean two kinds of love, the intimate shared with only a few. And the much wider love that comes bundled with achievement, the love of a friend, of an admirer, of a junior who thinks you are the best thing since elvis presley, or a fan at a concert who tells you that you have a n awesome voice, or the love of a fellow intellectual whose strife for a conversation partner is temporarily subdued by your presence, by a young woman who thinks you rock when you move on the dance floor, by the geek who thinks you look great on that bike, or the even the envy of those single men out there as they check out the 'very hot' women by your side. I strive for both these loves. I want to be recognized for who i am, I am desperate to prove my individuality from the throngs of billions of humans...I am different...know me for it...I want to assert...
The love of a woman...the most intimate that a man can find...eludes me...
and presently wouldnt want to express much on that...
Erudition: Knowledge is the fruit of human existense, in its study I find that I am part of something timeless and immortal. In a constant quest to define who I am, I feel it nessecary to read history and stories of human trials and endurance. What are the quintessential human qualities?? is it greed and hunger or is it love and communal harmony? is it desire which turns us poets or carnal lust which makes criminals of us?? If it is both, which one am I?
Money: Hmmmm.... its the certified universal symbol of your "survivabilty quotient' ...Money sure cant buy happiness...but it buys everything material and many things abstract from here to the ends of the universe.... for me it just symbolizes an opportunity which if i miss out now, i will regret later...I am not overpowered by any desire to own a ferrari, however prudence is best excercised now ...than be burdened with the onus of a wasted youth...
