Tales from J.A.F.A. - I

As a quick update to the previous post...the job that was gonna make me rich, well...I didn't take it. I was persuaded to stay by the management and my brother...

Leave out all the patriots...and leave out the people who dont read, and, perhaps, leave out all other J.A.F.A's , well for all the rest... I have a confession to make.
You see, I am a JAFA , always been one, its just that it takes certain things in your life for you to realize that you are one...

Just Another Frustrated Ass-hole (aka JAFA) . Somewhere between my aspirations for things great and small, and what I actually get , I have taken great strides forward to own this title. Not to say that what I have is insignificant, I have a job, friends, I have passion to learn...so on, and so forth...

I will not be going into a monologue on what I expect from life (the reader can thank god for small mercies!) But I will tell you in short why I am an JAFA, and maybe you will feel that it is not so bad to be a JAFA after all (besides that grouchy bitter frown on your brow all the time)

I am a JAFA because I was born in India to a middle class family but quickly, under the tutelage of my father, grew to despise anything remotely middle class and love everything american. Wierd dont you think, excercises in hating everything that surrounds you .. No wonder I am an hopeless elitist. I suffer from ARGS (Aspirational-to-Reality Gap Syndrome)..see what i mean....I am inflicted with the american obsession with syndromes . They have one for everything. like the DNRS ( Dad Not Rich Syndrome)... and anyone who's seen the latest hip-hop videos knows about the OBWBRHS . No? Its the Obese Below Waist But RED HOT Syndrome ...that describes whole new class of commodifying well-endowed african-american women...but ARGS is newly coined I hope ( oh! the joy!)

I am a JAFA because I was born in a country, which despite all its greatness and Infosys, forget to learn how to build roads...( i pay taxes by the way)

I am a JAFA because after torrid sessions of VH1, I keep hoping that the lifestyle of Justin Timberlake is actually accessible...and to aggravate matters I have not gone dancing in four months...

Welcome to the life of a JAFA... dont go away, I will be back after Bnaglaore has beaten the shit out of my aspiration for seeing something classy in the city...

THE JOB!!

So they say that by monday I will have the magma offer...
So thus begins the journey to be filthy rich..well not really...It will be 1 and a 1/2 years since i started working, and this offer should make me happy...money wise...

Kinda nervous about what it might entail.. i would like to have a calling towards work... they cant be paying me so much to just sit around....

Monday will come and the initial enthusiasm of they giant paycheck will wear off... and i will wait impatiently for the next big bump up.... till then... hmmm ... the clock will tick

Bday bash!

My first complete "honest to god" blackout!!!!!!
Oct 8th - Party at my place ...
Among other things of interest, My face got pasted with 3 rounds of cake and one round of dip..
After having chaged my shirt three times, we started our tequila shots...courtsey Rama.. i was pretty enthusistic about my first shots ...and 5 shots later .... I picked my guitar...enthusiastic about my songs, I started grabbing bottles and glasses from everyone and drank everything, three songs later, I couldn't distinguish the two necks of my guitar and had trouble directing my four hands to them. Twenty minutes later, I passed out. 'Puke everywhere' is the title of the story... which I only got to hear in the morning!!! For the last twenty minutes I have no recollection of what happenend!! I woke up in my underwear, coz i had been drenched by litres of water, which had no effect other than getting my pants wet, which were promptly removed!!!!

Well that was A BLAST!!!!

Of a thing called boredom

chronic, never-ending boredom...thats what life is in bangalore...There are things which generate excitement in retrospect. Things you did in the past which you felt nice about, but bangalore has offered me very little of that. The contrast to my life in college is huge. I wasn't eactly a party animal in college, but i had a wide variety of things to keep me happy...And i had people...every once in a while there would be something to do... HEADS UP!!! thats the only thing I can tell myself...I wnat to break this pattern of monotony. And whats somewhat consoling is that I am not the only one. People who have come from delhi and are somewhat driven for their careers find themselves in a odd spot, coming from delhi gives you that craving for a social life and the drive for the career means you are probably involved with something that gives you no time to indulge in a social life. the situation falling out of these contradictions is compunded by a mad "bigger paycheck" rush. Sanity is very subjective.

To trust the "KNEE"

this weekend's trip to kodaikanal was awesome fun!
misty mountain tops ! a walk in the clouds !
and some semi-serious biking and trekking!
i hope there are more of these in the pipeline!
A big refreshing change!!
Climbing up a hill on a bicycle is a killer!!
But at the same time it outs my trust back on my knee...
I wasnt in bad shape...but i guess i can only get better...

Desperation or drive!

There are times when people do things just to claw back to the surface and save themselves from drowning! Even though this requires tremendous effort and will, this does not constitute drive. Drive, is the most supreme of human qualities, that combined with your luck, makes the difference between lance armstrong and the bum you step over on your way to work. Wait a second, come to think of it, Armstrong wasnt very lucky, unless getting cancer makes your day...

Drive is the quality that differentiates your reaction to life-breaking events. Here are few that I have observed:
Some people just look away and ignore the situation and never let it bother them as it slowly kills them within.
Some people immediately make up their mind that their lives are over, and there is nothing to live for.
Some people overcome, with great strength and effort. And these are the people who survive almost anything (other than their eventual demise)

So what is it that differentiates these people?
Are they born with it? If so, this discussion is over? Because then you can assume that everything is pre-ordained and your effort makes no difference...I disagree...there is that example about choice...
A gets run over by a car and loses his legs....A has a choice to fight for what remains...or just give up...
As the first choice plays out...there is a hope, actually a distinct possibility, that A will ressurect his spirit. He will never have his legs, but he will have something...

As the second choice plays out...there is sadness...there is fear...there is loss of faith...a constant reminder of the handicap...there's frustration...and theres lonliness...a life wasted...

in retrospect this is an easy choice...but if the context is more present...its a test of your mettle...
we all have a choice to fight for what we want, we may come close and lose it, and then we have a choice to give up for what we fight for, and choose something new. But in doing this there's a danger of diluting your focus...

where does drive come from?
it comes from a will to excel, from a passion to exceed limits, to tell yourself that you have added value, its the same thing that drives a successful businessman and a freestyle rock-climber.. it is the epitome of indulging yourself for your own sake...

why would it be absent?
trauma...painful experiences..repeated failure...mental illness...all the above could combine to a situation wherein the person lacks drive...it could be due to lack of inspiration...or lacking self-belief...lacking any acheivable short term goals...but most of all I think its the lack of will and positivity.

will and positivity ?
These will prove to be the two most important concepts of anyone's life. There are those who can do without it. However, if you aspire for the extraordinary, dont leave home without it. In fact, make a choice early in life. Do you want to sacrifice ambition and afford yourself a 'loose at the edges' will ? Or do you want to sacrifice leisure and comfort, and beat yourself into pulp driving yourself? When you are beaten to a pulp, you look at yourself in the mirror...and this is where positivity comes in... Perception is wielded by you...you are a product of your perception...and nothing more...

THe road to success:
1. Discipline your life, to give your will a chance to grow.
nothing like following a routine and resolutions to believe that your will actually has a say. And dont trivialize the "no matter what" phrase, I am sure many use it to egg themselves on, and before the blink of an eye, the pastry that was "will not eat, no matter what!" turn into "well I do plan to run this weekend!"

2. Train your perception . And here again discipline is everything. Look at everything with a positive view..Here are a few things which are affected by perception.
a. People
b. Situations
c. Prospects

Never make judgements about people, for this immediately limits your perception of them. Never be emotional about situations, as this clouds your response. Respond to solve and not to absorb the manifold implications. Prospects, always take a deep look at the brightest and a quick look at the gravest. Make a decision and never look back at the grave prospects...

drive cannot be switched off...switch it on only if you need it bad..or just simply cannot do without it...

VROOOM!!!!

Do you hear that???
That low hum , slowly spiralling into a high pitched whine,
do you feel the earth shake and send warm vibration through you...
that powerful sensation of having a 300 HP beast rearing to go ...
well thats my drive coming back online after a year long hiatus...
a man is defined by his will to achieve...and without focus and motivation, there is no such will.
I have missed sorely, my age old companion. My drive, my soulful inspiration, the desire to be something more than 'all around you'..
I lost it in great turmoil, and great turmoil has restored it ...

Love, Erudition and Money

i have for a long time believed that the things of greatest importance to me are
love, erudition and money. And till recently the order was as listed. Nothing like heartbreak to reorder your priorities, so here is an insight to how the heart of those in love works as opposed to those fallen out of love.

Initially when i planned to write this, i wanted to write a very impersonal journal of what i felt were my priorities. So i will try no to deter from my initial objective.

Love : By this I mean two kinds of love, the intimate shared with only a few. And the much wider love that comes bundled with achievement, the love of a friend, of an admirer, of a junior who thinks you are the best thing since elvis presley, or a fan at a concert who tells you that you have a n awesome voice, or the love of a fellow intellectual whose strife for a conversation partner is temporarily subdued by your presence, by a young woman who thinks you rock when you move on the dance floor, by the geek who thinks you look great on that bike, or the even the envy of those single men out there as they check out the 'very hot' women by your side. I strive for both these loves. I want to be recognized for who i am, I am desperate to prove my individuality from the throngs of billions of humans...I am different...know me for it...I want to assert...

The love of a woman...the most intimate that a man can find...eludes me...
and presently wouldnt want to express much on that...

Erudition: Knowledge is the fruit of human existense, in its study I find that I am part of something timeless and immortal. In a constant quest to define who I am, I feel it nessecary to read history and stories of human trials and endurance. What are the quintessential human qualities?? is it greed and hunger or is it love and communal harmony? is it desire which turns us poets or carnal lust which makes criminals of us?? If it is both, which one am I?

Money: Hmmmm.... its the certified universal symbol of your "survivabilty quotient' ...Money sure cant buy happiness...but it buys everything material and many things abstract from here to the ends of the universe.... for me it just symbolizes an opportunity which if i miss out now, i will regret later...I am not overpowered by any desire to own a ferrari, however prudence is best excercised now ...than be burdened with the onus of a wasted youth...

The Biggest Superstition of all times- GOD.

“He loves us all. He is kind and great. He sees us through our bad times. He is omnipotent, all powerful, all knowing, benevolent and graceful. Our lives have been pre-ordained, and there is a perfectly good reason for all the suffering, which god shall reveal to us in the afterlife. Have your faith in god, and all will be well. Take his hand! And you shall be in his kingdom for eternity!”

As I wrote that I was beginning to feel this benign feeling of calmness spread over me. I was beginning to feel that I am taken care off. By the third sentence, the sharp edge of my sarcasm began to wear off. Boy! I must say that the lure indeed must be great. No accountability, no need for soul-searching, no existential angst, no worries, just you and bottle of wine in the kingdom of heaven. I would take that any day over an all expense trip to the Hawaii. That is if I was dumb enough to think there was any truth to this preposterous idea.

“I am an aetheist," and I proudly avow my inclinations. That being said, I would like to rant on a bit about my belief (my convictions really). On the issue of god and his kingdom, there are two brands of fools on this planet ( I am not totally sure, maybe it’s three, and may recall this statement on being subjected to any form of inquisition ). There is the average ordinary fool and there is the extra-ordinary fool. Let us examine closely these two broad classification of the species homo sapien.

The ordinary fool. Well since a vast majority belong to this class. You may be it, but maybe not…The kind who is very pragmatic, as long as something works, doesn’t care for changing anything… believes what he reads…does very few things to reason his beliefs…very likely to say things like “I felt his presence”…and most importantly “very uncomfortable at his beliefs being questioned”…Religious fanatics, the priestly class, terrorists, and a lot of average ordinary folks…

The extra-ordinary fool. Well, this class would be the atheists. Going to all lengths, to remove from their minds any hope of a divine answer to this mess of creation. No jingling bells, harp slinging angels, or white fluffy stuff in the afterlife, just dreary and slow decomposition. Whats the fun in that??? No fun at all, but I do believe a lot of truth.

I remember a time, sitting on a bench in HohenSalzburg, a elderly woman and I got into a chat, she was a teaching at a missionary school and took her views on the afterlife very seriously. She carefully, yet authoritatively asked me about my views on what awaits me in the afterlife. I melodramatically replied, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And that’s it.” With great dismay she told me that I should reconsider my views on life and the journey afterwards. I thought I heard fear in her voice, fear for my soul.

Fear, is the mother of most superstitions. The need for our intelligent species to explain that which cannot be explained, urges us create intricate stories of all sorts. I was once told by a colleague, that the value of religion is not in the conception of gods and the mythological stories therein, but the moral values taught in these stories. So, according to him, someone thought of a clever way to teach moral values…but posterity took the stories literally and made one big mess. I agree with him, however not on the assumption that all scriptures were written to teach values, I do think some of them were actually meant to be explanations for the universe. Immensely creative as some of these works are, they are just fiction and equivalent to early man’s bestsellers.

Through centuries, there’s been a need to define god. On an individual level, this was required to quench the eternal questions with simplistic axioms. On the societal level, this had strong political repercussions. People who believe in the same fate can unite more easily. Thus there is no doubt that many military generals have exploited this. The raging lines of war even in today’s world are often on the same line that divides differing religious ideology. I will not explore the political consequences of people’s perception of god. I will only explore the individual’s search.

People shy at the thought of not knowing their fate, so here is a brilliant mechanism wherein they are provided an illusion of knowing. And what they know is guarded by a thousand years of dogma and the veil of the unimpeachable. What is never questioned can thus never change, and it is this immutability which transcends GOD to the upper strata of human conscience. People draw comfort in knowing with certainty that this world is but just a small part of the greater journey, helps alleviate the sorrows of poverty, grief, hunger and loss. I can only envy the piety of a poor man, for it is his soul’s food. But the piety of an educated bloke is contemptible. I guess the habit of deluding ourselves with false hope is an incorrigibly human habit. ‘God’ is this false hope. There is however one phenomenon, relating to this superstition, that I find immensely disturbing; the habit of abnegating responsibility of things done in the name of ‘GOD’. Many people absolve their sins and assume forgiveness. That’s nothing but forgiving yourself, but since we would be exposed to ourselves as being unrepentant and selfish, the forgiveness acquires divine scale and becomes instantly more appropriate. Who would not love a person, who will forgive you for all your sins? Who will not embrace such a god? Who will not bleed for one so merciful? What could be more attractive than believing that all your suffering is by the will of this magnificently benevolent person? Its all too easy. Just a product of the human endeavor to be escapist, and find the easy way out, just a way to be lazy and not tax your mind with the unanswerable. However, to me it seems a lot that is branded as unreachable is reached, a lot which has no explanation is explained. And yet people stick to their dogma. And finally, the idea of god creating man in his own form is nothing but human obsession with creating the creator in ‘human’ form. People should get over themselves…this species is transient…just a stepping stone to the next rung on the evolutionary ladder.

The cheapest bottle of beer!

It was race day! Monaco circuit! Enigma in bangalore ...and i had just put away my 5th fosters ...and all i paid for all five was 40 ruppees...and no it was not stuff they pulled out of an expired lot... just that 'Strange Brew', bangalore's recently launched music magazine, had come up with a new promotional stint for metal heads and beer drinker..buy their magazine for Rs. 20 and get two fosters at chosen few pubs in the city on race day... I bought a couple...

One great moment in the nacant life of Psychrome ...
when there was a power outage...they were actually shouting our 'WAR CRY!!'
I almost cried....

At the venue, more magazines were bought, a page was reomoved and the magazine discarded promptly....we even got a couple free... our fisrt perks of being in a metal band..tee hee...
all in all great fun.... MUST READ THE MAGAZINE THOUGH....

Religion, science and me...

“Take this book. It has all the answers.”

There was a famous gentleman who taught maths in the Italian town of Padua, and of a certain religious text (which happens to be the biggest bestseller of all times) he had one notion which has struck me as, what I can best describe as ‘bold’.

“Written by the ignorant for the ignorant”

This gentleman was Galileo Galilei. It is possible that I am not qualified to quote this long deceased man, for I had to look up the spelling of his name. But, I am qualified to endorse what he said. For I immediately felt a kinship to him, when I read this, whether a person of his stature would feel a similar kinship to me is doubtable. Coming to the issue I did want to address, I wanted to write about the brilliant propogation of the scientific backwaters that is conducted by some religions. That, religion and science, are not bossom buddies, is an irrevocable fact. There was a time when great thinker hesitated to express their views in fear of contradicting the words of this bestseller. For the curious soul, I would like to mention that this bestseller is yet to make its appearance in paperback.

Many people say that the story in this book….you know what… we will give this book a name…lets call it ‘The older promise’ (which eventually was broken by a newer one). Yes, where was I? Ahh..the stories in the book…so some people say that they are only allegorical, but some take it quite literally. I am one of those mere mortals who fail to see the greater message…You can call me an infidel..or something like that…I have always wondered how could you fit all the species in the world on a boat…and sometimes I have wondered which has more truth to it…Jurrasic park or ‘The older promise’. The latter is relevant because if the world was created in seven days….then that leaves very little time for evolution…(Damn Mr. Darwin, that blasphemer!!! How could he suggest that men and monkeys are related. We don’t even look alike!!!)

There was a science book I once read and it spoke of the dating of matter using half lifes of certain radioactive substances. Unless there is some heavy-duty dilation and contraction of time going on, ‘The older promise’ is off by a few billion years when it comes to the concept of genesis…but we all know that time passeth at different speeds in the house of the lord….


Science cannot explain everything, the point is it doesn’t try to…it’s a constant work in progress. There was also once a wide held belief, because ‘The older promise’ said that the earth was at the center of the universe. Along came, Copernicus and blasphemed and then some…what do you know the earth is but an insignificant speck of cosmic dust. The third rock from the sun. Facts upheld have fallen…the book will yet never fall..or will it?

Not exactly A patriot

Its well within the realm of the irrelevant to debate the concept of nation and how its nationality extends to one born on its soil…But, I will pretend that I am no stranger to arguing the unarguable. I have felt at times, a lack of affection on the land on which I was born, and this lack of love was ostracized by those who were certain that I owed something to plot of land in rajender nagar where I was born. The reactions have varied from a mild annoyance to the militant kind. But I have been bright enough not to express my views so plainly that I arouse mass hysteria and get killed or vehemently enough for someone to label me a traitor and hang me for treason…that would be imprudent on my part. Not to mention that dead people seldom debate….

India is an ancient nation. This statement can be best qualified by a historian, but I always thought that India with its present geographical boundary did not exist till the time of independence. The fact that some people saw the opportunity to forge a great nation at that time is a great credit to them…to say that India as a nation is constant and old as time seems, to me, far from the truth. One of the first great nations to emerge which remotely resembled the country of India, appeared under Ashoka, and even then there were differences…Everything is evanescent…the concept of worshipping that which seems constant can only be human perception, in which case I should be allowed to form my own.

We, the proud people of India, are quick to boast of our heritage and cultural diversity…
And yet when faced with a diverse cultural group, many are hostile… A common experience for me was to notice, in college, people of the same ethnic background stuck together, not only that, but to preserve the hurt ego of one of their members, militantly confront another ethnic group. The brutality of the communal riots are well documented. As far as I am concerned, the cultural diversity is primarily a result of our isolation from each other, and is a boon to the tourism industry, but beyond that I don’t see it as a necessary bounty to the nation.

If I were to say something sharp regarding the history or the present attitude of the people of this nation, no doubt, those who would be inflamed by it, feel no qualms about passing remarks about other culture. I dismiss this attitude as short-sighted.

World religions

Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha- all of these men spawned what were to become world religions. If the numbers of their followers are added then we get more than half the world’s population. The story of the conflict of Christianity and Islam makes an interesting tale…spawned in two cities not very far from one another. The might of the followers of these two religions have clashed since the birth of Islam, and do so till now. Whether this conflict is primarily a conflict of nations or of ideology, I do not know…


"To maintain that each of these leaders is equivalent is not to argue from tolerance but from ignorance. In comparing Jesus with them, we discover a number of unique features in Jesus' life and ministry."

I read the above concerning the three subjects of my essay at a site for promoting Christianity…and I was amused…This was no doubt written by a man whose erudition far exceeds mine…It was interesting for me during the course of my research that roughly 4% of the people of the world are atheists.

Buddha is the oldest among the three. He was born roughly 600 years before Christ. And Buddhism spawned from Hinduism, whereas the other two spawned from Judaism. Buddhism had little conflict with either of the other two religions…

Religious fervor, a quality which emerges quickly and causes much damage, has many roots. Some can be traced to the current leaders of religion, and some to the originator themselves. I sometimes wonder how many Christians know when Jesus was born. Or why he is called Christ? I am in awe of the religion…and a hundred questions swarm me…what feeds a religion, I ask. The greatness of these men or the lack of greatness of their followers…for the sheep the Shepard is the lord. A metaphor so commonly used by the pious- Jesus the Shepard of men. I find it difficult to think of myself as a sheep- whether it be metaphorical or real. It also pains me that I am surrounded by people who like to think of themselves that way…There is sometimes a thin line between tradition and the perception of reality. It takes for a thing to be repeated through a few generations before someone starts believing it to be the universal truth…For example…Christmas was originally not celebrated on the 25th of December, but how many Christians will vow that Jesus was born on this day?

To claim that one is a son of god would be a truly audacious statement; that is if one was lying. The only man in history to claim that he was the son of god…it is odd though that the inmates of certain institutions feel that way today. It is well possible that their feeling that way got them where they now live…

Was there only one prophet in history to be executed? Was crucifixion a rare site in Judea under roman rule? Was there only one roaming prophet? Is it divine to walk into a city where all religious prophets are not favorites with the government and have a feeling that you are in danger? Is it divine to feel that one of your associates will betray you? Certainly wouldn’t be the first example of betrayal or paranoia?

To claim that there exists only one way….is interesting…for the lack of a better word. For almost 2 billion people to believe it…hmmm…sheep and shepards….it is odd that how we admire these men for their courage to question what is accepted. To think for themselves and to contradict what has been holy for eons…Isn’t it tragic how we try to immortalize and stagnate the perception of one individual because we cannot think for oursleves. A supermarket for religion: pick and choose, extra toppings, 10% off, ours is the best…These are marketing paradigms often used by the institution that these men begot.
geovisit();

The bane of the intellectual

The forever striving have little time for the subtle joys of life. They sometimes don’t see it, and more often, having seen it, forgo it. They create an atmosphere that can be best described as malignantly stirred. Those of less vigorous disposition find themselves spontaneously agitated in the subject’s company. Why the need to stir up a storm when there is none…

Possibly belonging to the class of storm stirrers, I have always felt that people like that don’t create storms but see one before others…This quality of foresight enables them to play out various scenario and perhaps find the one best suited for themselves and for their peers. At this point, such a person will find himself being thrust into a position of leadership. This quality comes at a terrible price. The bearer is often shrouded in a cloud of despondency. To see so much truth can indeed be burdening. But is it the truth they see, or do they see their own fears and like a dark prophecy set out to realize the worst. In which case, such individual are but more a menace than beneficial.

To see everything, and to question everything leaves one feeling extremely cynical and at the same time very full of musings. To introspect each of one’s action, can be a task for a greater portion of one’s life. But where does all this lead. Firstly, it leads to misery, and if fortunate then to self-realization. But like a socialist ideal is forever trapped in the vice-like grip of a command economy, such a person is often trapped in his own miserable conclusions about his own existence.

So is there a point or a direction to such intellectual pursuits?

Class, Techies, and me

What is the story of civilization if it isn’t the story of class struggle? Blood has been shed and forgotten, just to be shed anew… Every morning, I take the bus to work…and though sometimes I imagine myself surrounded by highly intellectual and highly educated people…I most often liken my being to a labourer being herded into trucks and asked to break rocks all day…

As George Orwell put it in his book, 1984, the high, the middle and the low. Which class of people, I belong to beats me. Whether the question is relevant or not is a different issue altogether, but since I am driven to write about it, I will assume its relevant enough for me. In the Indian context, I find that an engineer is somewhat of a dull creature…devoid of any recreational pursuits…driven solely by his desire to …umm…code. It appears to me that people are bent over backwards to be technically proficient…whether it appeals to them or not, I will not comment on. A profession of your own choosing will make you happy…is what I had heard when growing up…I find it difficult to swallow that so many of our fellow countrymen are driven to engineering because their heart desires it.

My batch was full of people wanting to get into management…To this regard I want to share an experience with you…Once preparing for his MBA interview, a batchmate asked me to test his knowledge on engineering issues…lest they ask the same of him in his interview…among other questions I asked him ‘How does an aeroplane fly?’ .The question was met by silence, one could always argue that it is not in the domain of an final year electronics student (one of the toppers) to know such redundant details…or could one??…my point being …a B.E. is worthless…the skill set required to do most of the work in the present scenario can be taught in two years…or less….

Out of place and out of scope, the two great descriptors of the mammoth majority of Indian engineers…
Creativity is often, a word they have their last encounter with, in school…A relic of a forgotten childhood…The masses sing praise for the regiments of able engineers passing out every year…But I see an army of shovel wielding blue collar workers…typing away incessantly with their legs chained to giant balls of steel…with a salary enough to make him stand proud among the vaster army of farmers and labourers…but too little to give him anything he really wants…Yes I am the middle…never the high