As a quick update to the previous post...the job that was gonna make me rich, well...I didn't take it. I was persuaded to stay by the management and my brother...
Leave out all the patriots...and leave out the people who dont read, and, perhaps, leave out all other J.A.F.A's , well for all the rest... I have a confession to make.
You see, I am a JAFA , always been one, its just that it takes certain things in your life for you to realize that you are one...
Just Another Frustrated Ass-hole (aka JAFA) . Somewhere between my aspirations for things great and small, and what I actually get , I have taken great strides forward to own this title. Not to say that what I have is insignificant, I have a job, friends, I have passion to learn...so on, and so forth...
I will not be going into a monologue on what I expect from life (the reader can thank god for small mercies!) But I will tell you in short why I am an JAFA, and maybe you will feel that it is not so bad to be a JAFA after all (besides that grouchy bitter frown on your brow all the time)
I am a JAFA because I was born in India to a middle class family but quickly, under the tutelage of my father, grew to despise anything remotely middle class and love everything american. Wierd dont you think, excercises in hating everything that surrounds you .. No wonder I am an hopeless elitist. I suffer from ARGS (Aspirational-to-Reality Gap Syndrome)..see what i mean....I am inflicted with the american obsession with syndromes . They have one for everything. like the DNRS ( Dad Not Rich Syndrome)... and anyone who's seen the latest hip-hop videos knows about the OBWBRHS . No? Its the Obese Below Waist But RED HOT Syndrome ...that describes whole new class of commodifying well-endowed african-american women...but ARGS is newly coined I hope ( oh! the joy!)
I am a JAFA because I was born in a country, which despite all its greatness and Infosys, forget to learn how to build roads...( i pay taxes by the way)
I am a JAFA because after torrid sessions of VH1, I keep hoping that the lifestyle of Justin Timberlake is actually accessible...and to aggravate matters I have not gone dancing in four months...
Welcome to the life of a JAFA... dont go away, I will be back after Bnaglaore has beaten the shit out of my aspiration for seeing something classy in the city...
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
THE JOB!!
So they say that by monday I will have the magma offer...
So thus begins the journey to be filthy rich..well not really...It will be 1 and a 1/2 years since i started working, and this offer should make me happy...money wise...
Kinda nervous about what it might entail.. i would like to have a calling towards work... they cant be paying me so much to just sit around....
Monday will come and the initial enthusiasm of they giant paycheck will wear off... and i will wait impatiently for the next big bump up.... till then... hmmm ... the clock will tick
So thus begins the journey to be filthy rich..well not really...It will be 1 and a 1/2 years since i started working, and this offer should make me happy...money wise...
Kinda nervous about what it might entail.. i would like to have a calling towards work... they cant be paying me so much to just sit around....
Monday will come and the initial enthusiasm of they giant paycheck will wear off... and i will wait impatiently for the next big bump up.... till then... hmmm ... the clock will tick
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Bday bash!
My first complete "honest to god" blackout!!!!!!
Oct 8th - Party at my place ...
Among other things of interest, My face got pasted with 3 rounds of cake and one round of dip..
After having chaged my shirt three times, we started our tequila shots...courtsey Rama.. i was pretty enthusistic about my first shots ...and 5 shots later .... I picked my guitar...enthusiastic about my songs, I started grabbing bottles and glasses from everyone and drank everything, three songs later, I couldn't distinguish the two necks of my guitar and had trouble directing my four hands to them. Twenty minutes later, I passed out. 'Puke everywhere' is the title of the story... which I only got to hear in the morning!!! For the last twenty minutes I have no recollection of what happenend!! I woke up in my underwear, coz i had been drenched by litres of water, which had no effect other than getting my pants wet, which were promptly removed!!!!
Well that was A BLAST!!!!
Oct 8th - Party at my place ...
Among other things of interest, My face got pasted with 3 rounds of cake and one round of dip..
After having chaged my shirt three times, we started our tequila shots...courtsey Rama.. i was pretty enthusistic about my first shots ...and 5 shots later .... I picked my guitar...enthusiastic about my songs, I started grabbing bottles and glasses from everyone and drank everything, three songs later, I couldn't distinguish the two necks of my guitar and had trouble directing my four hands to them. Twenty minutes later, I passed out. 'Puke everywhere' is the title of the story... which I only got to hear in the morning!!! For the last twenty minutes I have no recollection of what happenend!! I woke up in my underwear, coz i had been drenched by litres of water, which had no effect other than getting my pants wet, which were promptly removed!!!!
Well that was A BLAST!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Of a thing called boredom
chronic, never-ending boredom...thats what life is in bangalore...There are things which generate excitement in retrospect. Things you did in the past which you felt nice about, but bangalore has offered me very little of that. The contrast to my life in college is huge. I wasn't eactly a party animal in college, but i had a wide variety of things to keep me happy...And i had people...every once in a while there would be something to do... HEADS UP!!! thats the only thing I can tell myself...I wnat to break this pattern of monotony. And whats somewhat consoling is that I am not the only one. People who have come from delhi and are somewhat driven for their careers find themselves in a odd spot, coming from delhi gives you that craving for a social life and the drive for the career means you are probably involved with something that gives you no time to indulge in a social life. the situation falling out of these contradictions is compunded by a mad "bigger paycheck" rush. Sanity is very subjective.
Friday, August 05, 2005
To trust the "KNEE"
this weekend's trip to kodaikanal was awesome fun!
misty mountain tops ! a walk in the clouds !
and some semi-serious biking and trekking!
i hope there are more of these in the pipeline!
A big refreshing change!!
Climbing up a hill on a bicycle is a killer!!
But at the same time it outs my trust back on my knee...
I wasnt in bad shape...but i guess i can only get better...
misty mountain tops ! a walk in the clouds !
and some semi-serious biking and trekking!
i hope there are more of these in the pipeline!
A big refreshing change!!
Climbing up a hill on a bicycle is a killer!!
But at the same time it outs my trust back on my knee...
I wasnt in bad shape...but i guess i can only get better...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Desperation or drive!
There are times when people do things just to claw back to the surface and save themselves from drowning! Even though this requires tremendous effort and will, this does not constitute drive. Drive, is the most supreme of human qualities, that combined with your luck, makes the difference between lance armstrong and the bum you step over on your way to work. Wait a second, come to think of it, Armstrong wasnt very lucky, unless getting cancer makes your day...
Drive is the quality that differentiates your reaction to life-breaking events. Here are few that I have observed:
Some people just look away and ignore the situation and never let it bother them as it slowly kills them within.
Some people immediately make up their mind that their lives are over, and there is nothing to live for.
Some people overcome, with great strength and effort. And these are the people who survive almost anything (other than their eventual demise)
So what is it that differentiates these people?
Are they born with it? If so, this discussion is over? Because then you can assume that everything is pre-ordained and your effort makes no difference...I disagree...there is that example about choice...
A gets run over by a car and loses his legs....A has a choice to fight for what remains...or just give up...
As the first choice plays out...there is a hope, actually a distinct possibility, that A will ressurect his spirit. He will never have his legs, but he will have something...
As the second choice plays out...there is sadness...there is fear...there is loss of faith...a constant reminder of the handicap...there's frustration...and theres lonliness...a life wasted...
in retrospect this is an easy choice...but if the context is more present...its a test of your mettle...
we all have a choice to fight for what we want, we may come close and lose it, and then we have a choice to give up for what we fight for, and choose something new. But in doing this there's a danger of diluting your focus...
where does drive come from?
it comes from a will to excel, from a passion to exceed limits, to tell yourself that you have added value, its the same thing that drives a successful businessman and a freestyle rock-climber.. it is the epitome of indulging yourself for your own sake...
why would it be absent?
trauma...painful experiences..repeated failure...mental illness...all the above could combine to a situation wherein the person lacks drive...it could be due to lack of inspiration...or lacking self-belief...lacking any acheivable short term goals...but most of all I think its the lack of will and positivity.
will and positivity ?
These will prove to be the two most important concepts of anyone's life. There are those who can do without it. However, if you aspire for the extraordinary, dont leave home without it. In fact, make a choice early in life. Do you want to sacrifice ambition and afford yourself a 'loose at the edges' will ? Or do you want to sacrifice leisure and comfort, and beat yourself into pulp driving yourself? When you are beaten to a pulp, you look at yourself in the mirror...and this is where positivity comes in... Perception is wielded by you...you are a product of your perception...and nothing more...
THe road to success:
1. Discipline your life, to give your will a chance to grow.
nothing like following a routine and resolutions to believe that your will actually has a say. And dont trivialize the "no matter what" phrase, I am sure many use it to egg themselves on, and before the blink of an eye, the pastry that was "will not eat, no matter what!" turn into "well I do plan to run this weekend!"
2. Train your perception . And here again discipline is everything. Look at everything with a positive view..Here are a few things which are affected by perception.
a. People
b. Situations
c. Prospects
Never make judgements about people, for this immediately limits your perception of them. Never be emotional about situations, as this clouds your response. Respond to solve and not to absorb the manifold implications. Prospects, always take a deep look at the brightest and a quick look at the gravest. Make a decision and never look back at the grave prospects...
drive cannot be switched off...switch it on only if you need it bad..or just simply cannot do without it...
Drive is the quality that differentiates your reaction to life-breaking events. Here are few that I have observed:
Some people just look away and ignore the situation and never let it bother them as it slowly kills them within.
Some people immediately make up their mind that their lives are over, and there is nothing to live for.
Some people overcome, with great strength and effort. And these are the people who survive almost anything (other than their eventual demise)
So what is it that differentiates these people?
Are they born with it? If so, this discussion is over? Because then you can assume that everything is pre-ordained and your effort makes no difference...I disagree...there is that example about choice...
A gets run over by a car and loses his legs....A has a choice to fight for what remains...or just give up...
As the first choice plays out...there is a hope, actually a distinct possibility, that A will ressurect his spirit. He will never have his legs, but he will have something...
As the second choice plays out...there is sadness...there is fear...there is loss of faith...a constant reminder of the handicap...there's frustration...and theres lonliness...a life wasted...
in retrospect this is an easy choice...but if the context is more present...its a test of your mettle...
we all have a choice to fight for what we want, we may come close and lose it, and then we have a choice to give up for what we fight for, and choose something new. But in doing this there's a danger of diluting your focus...
where does drive come from?
it comes from a will to excel, from a passion to exceed limits, to tell yourself that you have added value, its the same thing that drives a successful businessman and a freestyle rock-climber.. it is the epitome of indulging yourself for your own sake...
why would it be absent?
trauma...painful experiences..repeated failure...mental illness...all the above could combine to a situation wherein the person lacks drive...it could be due to lack of inspiration...or lacking self-belief...lacking any acheivable short term goals...but most of all I think its the lack of will and positivity.
will and positivity ?
These will prove to be the two most important concepts of anyone's life. There are those who can do without it. However, if you aspire for the extraordinary, dont leave home without it. In fact, make a choice early in life. Do you want to sacrifice ambition and afford yourself a 'loose at the edges' will ? Or do you want to sacrifice leisure and comfort, and beat yourself into pulp driving yourself? When you are beaten to a pulp, you look at yourself in the mirror...and this is where positivity comes in... Perception is wielded by you...you are a product of your perception...and nothing more...
THe road to success:
1. Discipline your life, to give your will a chance to grow.
nothing like following a routine and resolutions to believe that your will actually has a say. And dont trivialize the "no matter what" phrase, I am sure many use it to egg themselves on, and before the blink of an eye, the pastry that was "will not eat, no matter what!" turn into "well I do plan to run this weekend!"
2. Train your perception . And here again discipline is everything. Look at everything with a positive view..Here are a few things which are affected by perception.
a. People
b. Situations
c. Prospects
Never make judgements about people, for this immediately limits your perception of them. Never be emotional about situations, as this clouds your response. Respond to solve and not to absorb the manifold implications. Prospects, always take a deep look at the brightest and a quick look at the gravest. Make a decision and never look back at the grave prospects...
drive cannot be switched off...switch it on only if you need it bad..or just simply cannot do without it...
Friday, July 15, 2005
VROOOM!!!!
Do you hear that???
That low hum , slowly spiralling into a high pitched whine,
do you feel the earth shake and send warm vibration through you...
that powerful sensation of having a 300 HP beast rearing to go ...
well thats my drive coming back online after a year long hiatus...
a man is defined by his will to achieve...and without focus and motivation, there is no such will.
I have missed sorely, my age old companion. My drive, my soulful inspiration, the desire to be something more than 'all around you'..
I lost it in great turmoil, and great turmoil has restored it ...
That low hum , slowly spiralling into a high pitched whine,
do you feel the earth shake and send warm vibration through you...
that powerful sensation of having a 300 HP beast rearing to go ...
well thats my drive coming back online after a year long hiatus...
a man is defined by his will to achieve...and without focus and motivation, there is no such will.
I have missed sorely, my age old companion. My drive, my soulful inspiration, the desire to be something more than 'all around you'..
I lost it in great turmoil, and great turmoil has restored it ...
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