The fight against despondency

It has struck once more at the core of my heart!
The forlorn longing for one who you cannot have ...
I am told to keep busy...in order to distract myself...
No amount of effort done for the misguided reasons can fill the void
What is needed is a willful and motivated progress to a long desired dream.
My long desired dreams have kind of fallen flat in the aftermath of this emotional
struggle which has by now lasted more than a year.
Most people dont see it, but my struggle to surface is all too real...
I have drifted too sporadically in and out of despondancy,
and I have no doubts that i have fought it. Music, food, fitness, work, knowledge, books, creative writing...I have tried them all...but in the end all I need is people I can relate too. PEOPLE!
Lonliness is the flavour of this month...mind numbing lonliness
career? yeah ! everyone thinks I am slated for the big leagues...No doubt about it...
But I can only see short sightedly now... no longer do I have the vision to see beyond 10 - 20 - or even 30 years...
My untiring drive is back... and I am hoping to piggyback it to the next milestone in life, when I can read this journal and empathise in retrospect...
although it is headless right now...it is full bodied... and exudes a lot of energy...I wake up everyday...with one and only one thought ALONE!! ( my greatest fear has come true) I cannot control the first feeling in my head when i wake up..and the taste lingers through the day...
But fight i shall , and fight I must...
because I am ME, and there is a person in the future who beckons to me...to tell me its gonna be ok. It is I, many years from now...driving myself forever...